10) Confidently Scared

When you’re working underground, you get on an elevator and go 600 feet down and get out. It's one of those things where it's not guaranteed that you're going to be okay. You could have claustrophobia or just freak the fuck out.

The first time I got on that elevator and I went down, I was thinking, "This is literally not the elevator down to work, this is the elevator to my next life. This is four generations of my family. This is what they did for basically their whole lifetime." This was a means to an end. No matter what, I was going to make it work for that short term so I could pursue my next level. I walk through and get off the elevator. I'm thinking, "Man, I've been on this bitch for a little while. We're deep.

I'm thinking, "Oh shit, this ain't bad." And then I heard the suction of air. I realized I’m not even in the coal mine yet, I'm just in the airlock. Then they open up the door and it looks like the motherfucker's going to fall in. First off, I can't stand up because it’s only 50 inches or so high. Then I get to an area where we're going to work, and it's literally like working under your kitchen table. I'm thinking to myself, "Fuck, is this worth $14 an hour and $21 an hour over time?"

I said, "Fuck it." I obviously felt uncomfortable at first, but I tapped into, "This is me. This is in my DNA. This is what we've done. This is what I want to do." And so, I went down there the first day and I'm on this fucking belt line and I'm shoveling this coal. They drop me off and say, "See you in 10 hours." My back's rubbing the ceiling as I'm shoveling it. I'm thinking to myself, "Motherfucker, this is what it's going to take. This is what it's going to take."

I'm not crying. There are people that do this their whole life. This is what it was going to take to get the opportunity to leave the area to see if fitness was a possibility.

Fast forward a little bit, I get to Columbus and I'm making some moves and another opportunity comes up. They want a bigger percentage of my money. The guy comes in, he thinks he's going to push me around because I'm 20-years-old. He goes, "Starting next month, I'm taking 30%." I didn't say anything. I walked out the door.

You know what I did? I got right in my car and I started driving and looking for places. I'm 20-years-old. I have no money. I just knew that situation wasn't for me. I'm looking at leasing this place and that place. I'm thinking, "How am I going to get a co-signer? How am I going to get the money? How am I going to do any of this?" I was fucking scared. I had no clue what I was doing, but I was confident that people liked what I was doing.

You need to know that when you go into these uncharted territories, you're going to be fucking scared, but you must rely on you and the belief that you can do it.

So, when I got here and I got through being scared and used my confidence to believe in my ability, I said, "I'm going to do the same shit I did underground in this gym. I'm going to believe in myself and I'm going to work 93 hours a week if that's what the fucking takes." 

Well, that's what it took. I don't want people to get it twisted that I’m not scared. I was, but I didn't allow those feelings to hold me back from the confidence by going through the first step. I'm through step 25. They all build on each other. They all have uncertainty, but you have to be confident in yourself. That's why I say confidence runs the world. You need to be building it up every day, and you need to have small wins. When you're scared, don't let it fucking hold you back, believe in yourself.