#184 I’m Embarrassed and I’m Proud

Here’s Why

Yesterday I’m in the gym doing extra front squat work.  First off, I’m ecstatic to be back under the bar.  I’ve been putting in extra work to make my front rack position stronger due to my rotator cuff rupture.  Overall, it was a great front squat session.

And then I’m doing some ab wheels, not really paying attention, and boom something locks up.  By the time I reach the track, I can barely get out of my car.  Something’s off.  Something’s different.  I can feel that something is out of whack right above my SI joint.  I know that I can get it taken care of, but here’s the story.

My Lunge Session

The first 50 meters of my lunges are brutal.  I’m forcing myself to take each step to get things loosened up.  I’m trying to get my glutes and quads firing to get more blood in my back.

My only focus is maintaining my streak and getting through my 800 meters.

My only focus is my metabolic rate and strength that I’m building. 

I know that I’m going to see the chiropractor tomorrow. 

I got through it.  I felt good.  I get in the truck.  And then I get home and boom, I can’t even take my shoes off.

All From Ab Wheels

All this from an ab wheel.  I’ve been in the game a very long time, but you’re never guaranteed to feel good.  You're never guaranteed to be healthy.  You're never guaranteed to be successful.  You have to work for it, and you’re always going to have obstacles to overcome.

What I’ll Never Understand

I slept on the floor last night.  I got up then next morning and was super tight.  I’m at the point of debating whether I should go to the gym.  If I’m healthy, one thing I’ll never understand is missing a day or workout.  I’ll never understand the mentality of missing. 

I’m embarrassed to admit that I was trying to get out of going to the gym today.  I turned on my truck with a remote starter this morning.  Then, the doubt started creeping in to the point where I walked outside – barefoot – to turn off my truck because I couldn’t even get my shoes on.  My body literally wouldn’t bend that way.

As I'm walking outside to turn my truck off, I think, you know what, G?  Maybe you can’t get your motherfucking shoes on today, but you can put your sandals on.  You can put your fucking sandals on, and you can do something.  So that's what I did.  I put my sandals on, sucked down my pride and said, "I'm going to go."  At the very least, I was going to get an upper body pump.

I Get to the Gym

I get to the gym and can barely get out the truck.  I’m pissed off that I can’t be with the crew doing what I want to do.  But you know what?  I got a huge pump in anyway.  I’m starting to feel a little proud of myself for fighting through, right?

Assuming that a person is healthy, I’ll never understand why they don’t show up… especially if they claim to want to get better.  It makes zero sense.  I have zero tolerance.  If you want to be successful and you want to get better, you have to fucking show up.  It's just the truth.

Don’t Give Up

I hobble out to my truck and get in.  It’s Day #18 of my 800-meter lunge streak.  I get to the track and think to myself, “If I use a cross pattern, that could maybe open things up and make everything feel better.”  At this point, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to be able to get through 800 meters.  All I knew was that I was going to do everything I could in order to maintain my streak.  I was prepared to dig deep. 

And if I stayed in bed, I would have stayed embarrassed because I would have given up.  But today I won.  Today I gave everything I had.  I’m squeezing every ounce I have out of Cory Gregory.