Bellbrook to Jacksonville: My Road Back to GORUCK Selection
My preparation for GORUCK Selection began back in 2020. I was training to take on both Team Assessment and Selection in 2021, both in Bellbrook, OH. Up to this point I had done some hard things such as the 50-Mile Star Course, a self-imposed 100-Miler, a Heavy, a bunch of Toughs, and triathlons, but nothing in the realm of Team Assessment or Selection.
I was working as a lone wolf, programming what I thought was my best bang for my buck and hoping for the best come event time. This plan turned out to be good enough for Team Assessment; however, it fell quite short when it came to taking down the ultimate beast, Selection in 2021.
There were holes in my plan and I was exposed. I believe I was physically capable of getting through, but my mental game wasn’t where it needed to be.
So it was back to the drawing board.
A couple years passed as we had our first two kids, but the feeling of that voluntary withdrawal—that feeling of quitting—stuck with me like a thorn in my side.
2025 swung around and I was planning on getting in a good year and a half plus of training for when Selection came back to Ohio (maybe). I signed up for a Double Heavy (48 hour team event) in WV, then sometime in the summer Jason and the folks at GORUCK announced that this was the last year indefinitely for GORUCK Selection. It was decision time.
After a very short conversation with my wife, it was full speed ahead for Jacksonville. At this point, I was already training with Joe Baker, so I told him the plan and we shifted gears.
I started to look back at my 2021 experience and what I needed to improve on. Physically, I needed to do more training and cover more bases, but the bigger issue was being in control of my mind and breathing.
The feeling of going out after the 90-minute sandbag lunge evolution followed by the 1,000-rep step-up workout called “Chad” was burned into my brain. The self-doubt was strong, my breathing was out of whack, and I was hanging by a thread.
I needed to fix this, so I started doing much more mental preparation and breath work. We’re talking monotonous workouts, having someone do the bulk of my programming (Joe Baker), reading & listening to any material I could find on the topic, and working with my friend Brian Peters on a simple and effective breath work strategy. Building the Elite and Never Finished were two of the books I was deeply into, and I was listening to Selection Finisher podcast episodes and other GORUCK videos.
Another thing I was training myself to do was not to make emotional decisions in the moment. I did this by training myself to be more aware of what I was feeling. Am I really putting myself in danger right now, or is this feeling just pain? A perfect example was on the back end of the Long Walk the second night. Every step I took felt like stepping on needles. Uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely. Life-threatening? Not at all. I just needed to keep going. I couldn’t waste time thinking about how bad my feet hurt because it would do absolutely nothing for me. Recognizing and acknowledging this feeling, then letting it go, freed me up to keep going.
More training, more mentally soul-sucking workouts, more mental preparation, and visualization were on the docket for 2025. I wasn’t going to leave any rock unturned. I wanted to go into this event with everything I had. Doing this gave me much more confidence going in and made me way less nervous leading up.
So, when my friend Preston dropped me off at the new GORUCK HQ a half hour before the event started, I felt strangely calm and confident. I knew that I had put everything I had into the event, and because I did that, I felt confident that I was going to make it.
This ultimately proved to be true.
The admin phase, PT test, 12-mile ruck, and welcome party went according to plan. I could feel my confidence increasing as the event went on. I felt in control. I felt like I was on a business trip. It was one evolution at a time. It didn’t matter if we were at HQ or the beach, with Cadre Dan, Cadre Aaron, and Cadre Jason, or Cadre Q and Cadre Dustin—it was all about getting the job done in that moment.
Having this attitude was a big shift for me compared to my attempt in 2021. Back then, I felt like I was playing defense, hoping we weren’t going to do a certain exercise or movement next. Playing that game is a slippery slope and should be avoided at all costs.
Bottom line: it shouldn’t matter what you’re doing next. If you’re asked to low crawl 1,000 yards through the ocean and sand, you just do it.
Adopting that mentality freed me up to just GO. I wasn’t there to just survive, I wanted to dominate.
Another favorite part for me looking back now is the 24-hour interview. I think I was the first to be interviewed and Jason immediately asked me on a scale of 1–10 how I was. I immediately responded with an 8. He then started to ask why I was there. I told him my two girls and wife. He wanted me to keep digging, so I told him it was to expand my own limits and to inspire people I don’t know. He asked me what made me different so I could pass this event. I said the body of work I put in. And then he asked me what I think about when things get bad. I said my family and me thinking about going home and telling them that I finished. He said what’s going to happen when you don’t pass? I said I’m going to pass. He said what are your chances on a scale of 1–10. I answered 10, and I meant it. Having this kind of confidence at the midpoint was a huge boost. There’s no way I could have responded with such conviction if I didn’t mean it.
The next 24 hours was evolution after evolution of the cadre pitting me and Ben (018) against each other. So unless you wanted the extra special attention, there was no holding back. I was going to give each evolution everything I had. I also felt like I owed it to the cadre, GORUCK, and the community to give my best effort.
We finally started the Long Walk around 12:30–1am the second night with Cadre Q and Cadre Dustin. Except this time they changed a few things around on us. Cadre Q told us that we could get a performance strike if we fell behind the cadre’s pace. Turned out that was a total lie later haha. Needless to say, our pace quickened. They also decided to incorporate some races between us on the intracostal bridges. I believe it was those races that really took my foot condition to a different level. It felt like walking on needles with every step. The other issue I had was with my left shoulder. After finishing the Long Walk, I took off my ruck and could hardly feel my left shoulder, let alone hold something above my head. I knew that was going to make the upcoming Shark Attack even more fun.
But we were nearly there. The Shark Attack was the last major obstacle. So it was just a suck-it-up-and-do-your-best kind of situation when we got back to HQ. It was a constant barrage from all angles and all the cadre. Pretty much every type of movement we could do was sent our way in rapid-fire fashion.
After getting through the last of the Shark Attack, Cadre Dan patched us, people were swarming, and the celebratory Budweiser started to flow. Aside from my wedding day and my kids being born, this ranks at the top when it comes to feelings of pure joy. Initially, I didn’t know how to react because I wasn’t expecting it to be over. It took a good 10 minutes for me to shift fully from game mode to “Wow, I made it.”
Having the opportunity to talk with Jason, the other cadre, the other Selection finishers, and people in the GORUCK company and community was something I’ll never forget. I have so much respect for all of them, what they’ve done, and what they continue to do.
Finishing this event after putting in so many hours and years of work is surreal. The lessons I’ve learned and the personal growth I’ve experienced are well worth it and I look forward to passing it on. And to be the role model my girls and family deserve? Priceless.
Huge thanks to the entire GORUCK team for putting on events like this—ones that push us to our limits and bring out our very best. Thank you to my wife, kids, family and friends for supporting me along the way. Thank you to Joe Baker, Brian Peters and anyone who helped me leading up to the event!
